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Originally Posted by TheBoredOne
I last spent time with this friend Janurary 19th. So a few weeks ago. We have been friends since we were 9. We are in this age range(16-20). We have never fought before, her and her parents actually just moved back to my state after them living in another one(they moved back in December). I have never spoken about my gender idenity and my social anxiety with this friend before, and I have a funny feeling both of those could be why she has not been returning any of my messages. When we were hanging out together at the mall, I felt my social anxiety go up super high I rarely talked but I did every once in a while we were there. I got mistaken as the opposite gender a few times at the mall and I think that may have made my friend mad(I don't know why it would? It doesn't really bother me all too much when people make mistakes) and what could of also bothered her was me not talking as much. She has been posting pictures of her on social media with her and her other friends. She has been leaving my messages on "read"(and I'm not even texting her alot or everyday just once every other week). Why do you think she is doing this?
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Hi, TheBoredOne! First, let me tell you that you sound like a great person. Caring so much about your friend is an awesome thing.
There are a few possibilities, in my opinion, why this person isn't answering your messages. Perhaps they are busy with things in their life that are taking a lot of their time and energy, so they don't want to just answer shallowly, maybe they are just taking their time to answer.
What is very important for you to realize is that there is nothing wrong with you. You are very young and being uncertain of things is normal. You will figure them out at your own pace and there is no need to feel pressured or strange.
At this age, 16-20, people are developing their identities and many friendships change, as the people themselves change. It is normal and healthy. As you grow, some people will become estranged, because they are not right for you. I am 29 years old now and I too have renounced friendships that were no longer right for me. So should you if anyone disrespects you or does not show you affection.
Don't stress too much about this friend. Focus un your awesome self and what is good FOR YOU. Most importantly, love and respect yourself for who you are and give yourself time to think, figure stuff out, enjoy life. You are truly your most precious asset and trust me, you can achieve so much by just believing in yourself.
I don't think this friend has a problem with the issues you are dealing with. Perhaps you are insecure and you tend to project them. It is normal! I am a lot older than you, and I still do this ocassionally...
My advice is that you write to them again, in a neutral tone, asking them if they are fine because you are a little worried about them since they have not answered. If they do not answer, or answer in a way that is not suitable, let them be. Perhaps they are not mature enough to feel empathy, and this means that they need to grow up.
When I was in my tweens, my best-friend stopped going out with me because she found a girl who her family approved of more. She came from a rich family and could help my friend climb up the social ladder. I felt very hurt for a while, like I was not good enough, but then I realized that she was just being shallow and there was nothing wrong with me. I found other friends across the years, and even some of those friends went away. It's a natural process and you must see it as such.
Take care of yourself! Hope this feedback helped at least a little! I'm not an expert, just an ordinary person.
