T then said" but you're not in that situation now"
She shouldn't have said that, it is invalidating.
In a way after years of abuse you are always 'in that situation' as those traumatic events live in your head, in your memories, and are written on your neural pathways (remain on your motherboard) nothing is ever truly forgotten.
I have chosen to 'forget' my mother and most of my childhood. I know its all there behind a wall, hidden, held in check. Managed.
Its about managing and controlling. For me its like treading water actively keeping in the present (mindfulness helps with this) and not slipping backwards. EMDR in my opinion works well, separating emotion from memory and is much better than endless 'therapy'
SSRIs help me keep memories manageable suppose they have for me a numbing effect.
Most of the time I am in control, only having an occasional melt down.
She probably said that trying to be helpful or comforting but its not.