That seems like a really important realization, Clarity. No wonder it is so hard for you to leave the house! I imagine at the slightest inkling of possible harm or vulnerability you want to retreat immediately to your home, and stay there.
This is the kind of thing that a trauma t can help with, even if it isn't possible to see one often.
I deal with a similar thing, though not as extreme. In structural dissociation it is sometimes called a 'phobia of traumatic material'. There is trauma associated with being out in the world, and trauma associations are avoided because a) they cause dissociation and b) they cause intrusive traumatic recall. So one tries to 'stay in the safety zone' by avoiding any traumatic association. When the traumatic association is being out of the house it can narrow one's ability to experience life considerably.
But a trauma therapist can definitely help with that kind of thing.
There is hope!