DadFMF, I see Rose (& others ) have given you VERY SOUND advice! Take it!

When I read her post, I also got concerned re money. When my spouse 'started' with his midlife crisis (dont know if its over), the first bit of advice I got was about finances.

This problem will be very much compounded WITH financial woes. (after all, money stress is in a 'class' all by itself!! )

If she is completely out of your life, the only insulation that you really have is to focus on your own life.

When my spouse (emotionally) left the marriage years ago, I never thought that I would be at a point where the marriage didn't matter. it seemed like the end of my world. It was initially very painful but bit by bit I tried to get involved in activities, go out and focused on being better re personal & professional development. Today, he's the one trying to save marriage.

Focus on money, legal advice as advised above. Focus on you - what you like, what gives you happiness, your kids. Work on your *mental strength (by living life, distracting yourself with fun activities to not dwell on situation too much). A personality type like your wife's is not one you want to live with it anyway.

Too many hold on, only to have no choice in old age to live with someone who makes them miserable. I repeat what was mentioned earlier - she probably did you a favour.

Be happy