Hi,

I am new to this forum. I got divorced 3 years ago and I am still having issues dealing with the loss.

In addition to missing my ex and the life we had together I have come to realize that I was the source of most if not all of the problems in the relationship. I am struggling with regret and guilt for not having realized this in time (or long before that).

I don't know how to forgive myself and move on and I don't know how to stop obsessively thinking about what I lost because of my own selfishness and unwillingness to grow up.

I have constant severe anxiety and have not slept more than a few hours a night for the last 3 years. It affects the rest of my life.

I want to feel ok again but I don't know how to believe that I deserve to. I have spoken with several counselors and mostly the advice that I get is to accept it, breathe, and move on. But I am stuck on it and can't let go.

I feel like I just need to heal and going back 14 years and making different choices is the only way I can envision that happening, and I worry that I am wasting my current life like I wasted all these years already, but I just can't get past it.

Thanks for reading.