Hello Have Faith: I'm sorry you are feeling stuck. Yes... I guess I experience something similar to this. However, for me, it's simply that all of my metal health issues are sort-of wound into this gnarled little ball. As a result, I have no idea what caused what or where any of it came from to begin with. The good thing, I guess, is that I'm an older person now. So it's simply too late to worry about any of it. I just strive to live with it day-in & day-out. I'm no longer on med's although I've taken them in the past. I don't see a therapist either. I hope in some way you can find the inner strength to break out of your impasse.