I was told once by my therapist that what I was reacting to was "all in the past" and "I did not need to do that any more". I realized it was true and it was very, very liberating. But it was said at just the right time for me. Said at other times it might have come across as insensitive, or dismissive, or reacting to something the T did not want to hear.

So timing is very important -- knowing exactly what is going on and when to say what. I think in my case his response was a bit accidental, and at other times he responded much less accurately to what I was prepared to grasp.