I just wanted to say I am right there with you friend, and have had almost the exact same experience, when a therapist said, "But this person (in the here and now) is not that person (from the past)."

And while an angry voice inside me said "no, actually, he is the same person, he is acting exactly the same," another inner voice said, "well, OK. that is true. Hm." And instead of focusing on similarities, I started looking for differences. And that was helpful.

I would say that in the moment I very much rejected what was said by my therapist. But it got me thinking in a helpful way.