My dad passed away on May 4th 2014. I still can not believe he is gone. I was very close to my dad. I still pick up the phone to call him. I was in my early 40's when he died he was 62. He could not handle the chemo so he went off of it.

He tried to shield me and my grandmother from his illness. He had cancer 12 years before he didn't think it would come back.

I got a call early on a Sunday morning telling me that the cancer had come back and to come to the hospital to say goodbye. The doctor asked if he had taken care of all of his business he said no. The doctor said I can try a few things and give you a little more time but I don't know how much.

He was able to give us several months with my day and I spent every minute with him. Still I play things over and over in my mind of things I should have said but in the end my dad told me with tears in his eyes that he loved me so much. I had never seen my dad cry. He is 6'3" tall and a big guy but he looked at me and I knew just how much he loved me

I hear it will get easier for me it has not.

Good luck and I am sorry for your loss