Quote:
Originally Posted by jjh78
You just blew my mind right now, s4ndm4n2006. Never thought of it that way.
What you said makes a lot of sense. And it's something I can bring up during my next session.
That does lead me into asking if this is a bad thing to have this savior mentality. Although I do readily admit it doesn't sound like a positive to want to find people - consciously and unconsciously - that give me that feeling of needing me.
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I dont' think that wanting to help people is a bad thing. The problem with it is when it becomes a need of your own. when you "need" to feel like you're helping someone in order to feel good about yourself or even just fulfilled, then it's really what makes relationships become codependent.
Wanting to find someone that will need you, to an extent is natural too. but it also kind of alludes to the idea that it is something missing in ourselves when we need that in an unbalanced way, as in it is far too important of a thing for us when finding a mate. ideally we should really want to find someone that is our equal intellectually, and otherwise and someone that is independent but is with us by choice but, of course, this is one of those "in a perfect world" situations and doesn't happen often.
You've started with self-inspection here, and this is a good thing. definitely talk to your t about these things if you've found anything I've said to have merit.. I hope all of this helps..