Hopefully this is the right place for this, I'm not completely sure. Anyway here goes nothing...

So I met my boyfriend Matt about two months ago. I moved in with an old friend in GA, who happens to be good friends with Matt as well. So we got to see each other every day, sleep in the same bed (the two of us were given the guest room). He's very sweet and caring and surprisingly mature for a 19 year old.

However, I still believe that I'M the problem. I'm 24, never dated a younger guy so not sure what to expect. My last ex was 15 years older, so apparently this pendulum has swung aaaallllllll the way back the opposite way. LOL! I know age is just a number but there are certain things that are difficult to attain in a relationship when there's a noticeable age gap. Unlike the old fart, Matt and I grew up in the same generation, so for the most part we like the same types of music, movies, tv shows, etc.

But... during fights he loves to throw in my face how much he's "in love" with me. Only, he chooses the worst way to do it: "I love you more than I loved so-and-so!" Oh great, so that makes now five? Six? Ex's that he was also "in love" with... Did he get started in kindergarten?! Cheese and rice, man! He's like Romeo, falling in love with every pretty face that winks at him! And I hated Romeo!!!

I'm thinking that it's just too soon for me to say I feel the same way. I have severe trust issues, especially when it comes to men and dating, so unfortunately my brain is working against us... I just started getting used to having him around all the time, now he's gotta go and throw the "L" word at me?!?!" Talk about 'cart before the horse'... There are no horses in sight and the 'cart' is full of mushy sentimental Hallmark drivel!!! Gross! I hate this Casanova BS! It feels disingenuous, dishonest... When I hear guys say sappy lovey dovey crap this soon, I'm thinking, "Okay, does he really think I wanna hear this junk?! And what the hell does he want from me, anyway??"

Now I'm back home, 1100 miles away, he's still in GA. It's creepy deja vu, cause ten years ago I tried a long distance relationship with a "cling-too-soon" guy from GA.... Needless to say it ended horribly! I haven't tried a long distance relationship since... But here I am, tempting fate once again. I'm such a dumb dumb.

I'm not even sure I love the guy! I mean yeah I like him, I'm very fond of him and he's one of my best friends. But he's not exactly "my type", if that even matters... He's not ugly, but to me he's not exactly drop-dead gorgeous either. I don't picture him naked, I don't care to see him without a shirt on, I dunno what's wrong with me.

Most of all I can't get over this one little thing: He is not funny! I've always been drawn to naturally funny guys (if it says anything, Robin Williams is one of my favorite people of all time). But sometimes I'll try to joke with him, hoping he'll catch on and try to make me laugh in return... And it's like we're speaking different languages! What's worst is when he tries being all "sensitive" and "romantic" when I'm hoping he'll make me laugh... Ugh! It makes me wanna vomit!!!! I hate that Casanova crap! Yeah I know some ladies would kill for a guy like that... well I'm inclined to say you can have him!

One of my big rules for myself with moving so far away and trying to start over, I kept telling myself "don't get involved with the first nice boy you meet, you're in no place mentally to start a new relationship!" And what did I do? *Facepalm* I care about Matt, he's a good friend and he's very sweet. But Love??? Oh man I don't know... I don't wanna lose him completely, most of the time I enjoy his company. But we have very different ideas of what "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" should be/do/have etc....

We've known each other for two months and he's already started talking about what OUR kids will be like and where he wants us to get married!!! I mean, come ON, guy! Jesus, Mary and Joseph! I'd be much more comfortable if he proposed first...after at least a year! But whoa! I feel like I'm already halfway to "barefoot, pregnant and chained to the stove"!!!!

This is terrifying to me. I am the kinda girl who HATES romantic comedies with a passion! I detest love stories, they feel like lies that emotional sappy people eat up like ice cream. Romeo and Juliet were morons in my book (actually Romeo was a pedophile cause he was anywhere from 18-23 depending on the source, but Juliet was always THIRTEEN :O). Casanova is the ultimate creeper, I'd break his nose if he tried that garbage with me.

Maybe I'm just at a point in my life where I wanna be single. I've had a string of bad relationships in the past 2 years (romantic and platonic-- double whammy), I'm tired of users and addicts who just take and take and take until there's nothing left for me! I've been selfless to the point of self-neglect for most of my life. I wanna put me first for once!!! Does that make me so terrible?? Sometimes I have to stop and think, "Do I like this thing? So-and-so decided that WE loved it cause separate identities are unconscionable to some really co-dependent creepers... But do I like it? I don't remember! Let's try it again!"

To be honest, I'm glad we're 1100 miles away. His near-constant neediness was getting on my nerves. And his way of resolving EVERYTHING is telling me how much he loves me and he's gonna fix everything. I'm a first wave feminist! SHUT UP, Prince Not-So-Charming!!! I can do it myself, dammit!!!

Sorry for the novel, I guess I'm just lost and ranting... I know I should probably break up with him but I'm worried he'll run out of my life completely. Sure he claims we could "still be friends if things don't work out"... But for most guys, that just means "I'm gonna try to get you back non-stop until you can't stomach the thought of being in the same room as me!!!"

I guess there really wasn't a time where we were "just friends". I could tell that by the time I got down there and met him in person, he'd try anything to win me over. And I was right. He had "puppy love" written all over his face. He fell so hard, I actually feel guilty. I did everything I could think of to put the brakes on!! I highly doubt I "led him on"... I think he's been lonely for a while and he'd have fallen for the first girl who treated him kindly... So what would it even be like to be "just friends" with that kind of guy??