Thank you Rapunzel and Petunia. I appreciate the replies.

I guess I'm just feeling particularly sad about the whole thing right now.

Only now at the age of 39 am I starting to make that effort to do what I could have started many years ago if only I had realised all the crap I was fed was just that- crap!

I'm doing therapeutic work with children, how lucky am I! But I never knew I was capable of that. I guess I am mourning, the loss of my childhood, the loss of self-esteem and realising how awful things really were.