i have never felt safe/comfortable around many people. it varies as to the reason behind it, but i am mostly concerned about triggers, the others being triggered, having to navigate that while being around unfamiliar people, etc. i am lucky if i can be in a public place for a few hours and tolerate it without a trigger/someone being triggered or in a setting with people at a gathering somewhere even if it is people i know well for the same reason.

it is exhausting and takes a lot of work and effort to keep things more level. it's why i have to try to keep stress low, keep a routine, keep my environment as controlled as i can, more when things are more difficult as at times i am able to be more lenient.

but it is really hard when dealing with people overall. i also don't like that i don't know what they might be thinking about me/us and sometimes just feel incredibly vulnerable and like they can see inside or something.

i also have social anxiety, so if that is flared up, it can cause issues with dissociating, etc. too. with that, it can make it hard to hear, say things without stumbling over words, etc. and is just a mix of difficult things.

usually, it is just easier to be alone...