Thanks you for the responses. I'm just taking it day by day. I'm in a lot better place mentally then I was the first few weeks back. I'm starting to accept things for what they are, I'm getting better spiritually and learning to get back on my feet. I'm acting eating and sleeping through the night now. I still think about it, but I'm not obsessed with it anymore. All I can be is positive to get through this time. With or without her, I want to work on my flaws to be a better husband/father or be better for the next person. Just going to kill her with kindness. I just hope she finds God again and gets back on track. She is a great mother and I will never take that from her. I just feel she has a lot of soul searching to do as we all do, cause I know this was a wake up call to the mistakes I made in this marriage that I am actively working on. She is saying a lot of horrible and angry stuff to me out of anger and hurt that I don't deserve, but I do understand how she feels. Just hope I can be a success story amidst all of the negative endings a lot of people have in this group. With God, if you pray and live your life the best you can, we will all be winners! I appreciate everyone taking the time out to comment. Means a lot!