You said this:

However, as feelings go, even if I know all of these facts rationally, it is sometimes hard to always be cerebral about the whole thing.

Please remember I am not trying to hurt you. I just think that we all including you deserve full undivided attention in relationships. I like the statement you made because it is so true that it is hard to be cerebral about the whole thing..for both of you..but especially for him as he has had a great loss.

I know about this loss from my friend that died and her husband was very confused about new relationships after she passed. So many feeling of guilt, worrying about what others think. He just didn't need that during his grieving period which is different for everyone.

Your guy may have a short or long grieve time...but absolutely he is not being cerebral about this and your strong feelings are affecting your ability to think clearly about what you deserve.

I think it definetly could work out in the end..but I would want him to be fully past his grieving and I would know he was by a change in dialouge, behaviors and being open about his move to recovery.

I wouldn't put my heart into this situation until he was able to say to me...some day....something like..I've thought long and hard about X (girls name) and her passing and I realize she would want me to continue to live and in order to love you or anyone else fully I have to move beyond that.

I would feel better if he were talking like this...and then I think I could move forward with him.