Yes I'm safe. It's been a week since I left. There's been a few times that I've left in the past and the feelings that I've been experiencing this week, I always felt those times too so it would usually only take a day or two for those feelings to make me go running back begging for forgiveness for leaving in the first place.

My mind tells me that I need to stay away, he is poison. My heart isn't much of a factor in this because I don't really feel any love for him and haven't really in a few years.

Yet, I feel this compulsive need to be there for him and to be with him to the point that I've gone home every night after work to have supper ready and waiting for him when he gets there even though I'm gone before he gets there. I get angry and defensive when others are speaking ill of him even though in my mind I know that everything they are saying is true.

I feel like i'm completely crazy.