I watched my mom die and stop breathing. I understand what you are going through. I was with her until the end. It is traumatizing. She was also in a coma for a week before she died. I would relive seeing her skin mottled and trying to dress her when she was already getting rigor mortis. It is a horrible thing but try and focus on the good that you did for her. You were there with her to the end. That is an extremely brave and courageous thing and I am sure if your grandmother was alive she would thank you for being with her. She knows you were with you. I a sure of that. I hope you find comfort in this. I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother.