***Trigger Warning***

Don't read if you don't like to read about pain and death

Hi! I have really very bad anxiety when it comes to my health. Anything abnormal freaks me out. I'm always afraid to get illnesses like cancer because I heard it's very painful, and we have history. I did many tests, but I think not all the tests. Doctors don't seem to listen, although I feel there is something wrong. I'm afraid because I don't want to discover something after being advanced beyond a stage of effective treatment, but I understand that not everything can be tested. I wish medicine were more advanced than today's to detect everything early and without any invasive procedures and with low cost. Today's medicine relies on statistical analysis, and probability because of cost and profit. I cannot function when anxiety strikes, and keep thinking I need to make sure I'm 100% healthy before I invest in life, otherwise it isn't worth it.

I am not looking for suggestions. I just wanted to share this, because it really bothers me a lot. The funny thing is that my life is a mess, and I would love to go, but I care about my health!! Maybe I'm just afraid of pain, not death. Thanks to Google that exacerbates my anxiety all the time by giving too many (potentially serious) possibilities for each simple symptom. Also, the other day I read another member's similar experience, and gave some suggestions as if I were in a different situation. Well, I am not

Thanks for reading.