This seems dumb to me, but I have a dr.s appnt in a week and that puts the pressure on to try to *not* cut. I haven't a few weeks now; the last of them on my leg still show, but somehow when i am getting close to a time when i know an area that often gets attacked is going to be seen i feel like i have to fight more *not* to. Being DID/MPD it is dificult to know the "mind" of those that do attack. But I don't believe any of them want anyone to know they cut. Well... i do know that some sort of wish some professional would find out - but i also know that they work hard to not have anyone find out. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me (host) at the moment. I know the dr wants a blood test that day and i know that the lab tech always looks at *both* arrms to see which she wants to use - even though she always picks the right one. the left is usually the one that gets attacked. but the marks on that arm just finally went away and i really don't want my dr to know. i know if there were some, the tech would go get the dr. it is enough that my t knows and i don't think she's communicated that to the dr.

alas.... just my thoughts for the morning. kiya