I read this quote in a book i once read, and i have to keep reminding myself of it whenever i get a case of the "what ifs" It's "Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone aught'a be." And by my saying that i'm not AT ALL implying you don't have a backbone, please dont think that. I just mean that there comes a point in life where you can't keep dwelling on what could have been, because you can't move forward and grow as a person by constantly living in the past. And i'm also not discounting what you've gone through in life ... but you can't discount what you have left a head of you. Think of all the good you have left in life, and try to embrace that. You said you're doing therapeutic work with children... think of those lives that you're touching, and think of how much potential you have to help those children.
Sending hugs
Jacq