39 is too young for what if thinking; I didn't get married until I was 39 :-) I just fulfilled my education dream from when I was 17 this year, at 57. Yeah, it might have been nice if we'd gotten ourselves together sooner, had a better background, etc. (we can't ever assume it would have worked out as we imagine though, things could actually have been worse, even with 110% love and support in our childhoods) but I don't think I want to regret what I imagine would have happened anymore. It didn't happen, couldn't have happened, and regretting what didn't happen is just as much a fantasy as any other we might make up now.