I feel I've written so many threads in these two months, but as if I haven't written anything. Today I feel I want to tear my body and get out. I feel trapped in my body and in life. I'm so frustrated of life. I really wish I wasn't born. I didn't ask for this life. I was brought to it and now I'm expected to live it!!! This isn't philosophy. This is my reality. I cannot live this life. I feel so small because people at my age and situation have families and kids and they take care of them. I don't know how to take care of myself. I cannot handle a small conversation with anyone even with my parents. I have very low tolerance to frustration. Sometimes I wish I didn't find this site because I keep writing these things repeatedly with no real benefit except that I hope to feel I'm being heard. As someone said it's so frustrating to engage in my threads. I guess they were right. I keep writing the same things over and over again. I want the pain to go away. I just want to vanish and die and take my eternal rest in my grave deep in the ground and be forgotten as if I didn't exist.