I totally understand! My parents and friends are telling me to divorce my husband, even our therapist told me to see a lawyer! I just can't do it yet. So I completely sympathize! I was going to add more advice but didn't because of length.

So what I was also going to add was if you choose to stay with him, it would benefit greatly if you started focusing on yourself and not him. When I become resentful I try to stop the inner dialogue about what a *** he is as soon as possible. Ive read if you think about something for 17 seconds it's really hard to stop. It's like a small rock rolling down a hill that grows. Pretty soon it's a enormous boulder and it's impossible to stop.

I try to look at what I'm gaining from the negative situations. I have become a much stronger person who has grown so much from his constant absence or indifference with kids and house. If we split up I would be fine, he would not know what to do! I've become the breadwinner and can handle the financial issues pretty well. I know how to fix things I didn't know before. Every negative situation can have a positive effect if you look for it.

The greatest gift my husband has given me is I realized how much of a victim mentality I had. I still fight that but at least I'm not in denial about it. 6 months ago I had a client who was unhappy and extremely vocal about it. I realized that I wasn't upset or embarrassed at all. That would've ruined 3 days for me before and I had a great rest of the day. In fact I was giddy that I wasn't bothered! It was because of all of the work I've done on myself. I can't change another person, only myself so I try to really focus on self improvement more than changing him.