I think it's nice, Dad, that you give your wife credit as a mother, saying she is good at that and something you can't take away from her. However, while admitting I'm in no position to know and judge, I can't help but wonder about a few things:

You say you have the kids almost every day. Sounds like she's looking to recapture the lifestyle of a single gal - prekids. She took down your pictures from the walls of the kids' bedrooms. That's not good for your children emotionally. It would be different, if you were an abusive/negligent father. But you must not be, or she'ld have no business arranging for them to see so much of you. And she's had them on a sleepover at some guy's house? Sounds to me like what's healthy for those kids comes second to her enjoying her new "free-spirited" lifestyle.

As for you giving them "false hopes," she seems to be the one keeping them in an emotional limbo. I can't see where she is, in any way, handling this intended departure from being married to you in a way that shows much sensitivity to the needs of an 8 and 7 year old whose parents are breaking up. Cocky . . . that's her attitude? And I believe you that she is cocky. That's a mighty strange mindset to have around two children, experiencing what may feel excruciatingly unsettling to them. Nothing in this narrative indicates that she expends much mental effort concerning herself with minimizing the trauma to these two children. They get treated to the tension of Mom and Dad being barely civil to each other on a daily basis, day after day after day. (Which is the tone that she - not you - seems to want to set.) I find this appalling. Her response to your son's plea for family unity showed zero sensitivity. I think this gal has a cruel streak in her that just leaves me slack-jawed.

Finally, it strikes me odd that her own mother seems to be so supportive of you. It makes me wonder: How bad can you be?

Keep seeing the kids. Keep killing her with kindness. Don't get taunted into making any decisive, premature moves. Hang back and just wait to see where in the heck she thinks she's going with this bizarre strategy.

Don't make it easy for her to paint you the bad guy - the one running out on the family. She's wanting you to get tired of waiting in the wings and do something that helps elevate her as "the woman wronged."

She may be great with kids in some way that I'm missing, but it sure eludes me what that might be. My heart goes out to your poor son. He's trying to put this together in his little, inexperienced brain . . . and he doesn't know what to make of it all. This is not how a mature, caring woman prepares children for the dissolution of a marriage and the break-up of a home.