I think some of us will always find social situations difficult to some degree, whether it's awkwardness, anxiety, shyness, introversion, whatever. I certainly relate to what you are saying, I feel like I have to 'gird my loins' when I go to social events, which is not that often tbh, but it's part of life and so I do it from time to time.

In my case I am in the community but in my own terms, small scale, via volunteering, sport, in my case 'doing' something/an activity rather than talking is a better option. I have a lot of acquaintances in my life through this, they're not deep connections mostly, but they are very much valued by me. Not sure if that makes sense to you, but it's my experience anyhow.