Quote:
Originally Posted by thesnowqueen
I guess the easy answer would be that 'the snow queen' refers to the story as a whole and not just the particular character. But I guess it goes further than that as I think my fundamental issues flow from someone who I do identify as the 'snow queen' and who thus sets off the entire Gerda-Kay complex? Someone with a narcissistic personality...
Perhaps most importantly, I actually identify more with Kay than with Gerda. It is Kay who gets the splinter of glass/ice in his eye and in his heart. It is Kay who is seduced by the Snow Queen's finery and finally it is Kay who ends up numb and paralyzed in an ice palace, trying to complete an impossible puzzle. I think Gerda is a hard act to follow! She is plucky, resourceful, and devoted. Plants, animals and other people are attracted to her and come to her aid. Even supernatural agents are on her side! Perhaps there is an element of Gerda in me - a part that is compassionate and devoted. However, the compassion is not for Kay and neither is the devotion because most of the time Kay just doesn't seem worth it...
Sometimes I manage to drum up a feeling of 'unconditional love' for Kay-part, but it's far easier for me to loathe it. Which I guess is an internalized Snow queen?
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Interesting. All this resonates with me so much..Not because I identify more with Kay, but because Kay-type men were kind of a theme of my life, frozen inside, unable to experience joy and to genuinely connect. Some of them had been definitely raised and seduced by their narcissistic mothers "the show queens". I know their personal histories, that's how I know. I most certainly was Gerda who was trying to save them from themselves
Not anymore thank God. I am not on a rescue mission any longer
(I am not talking about clients when I say Kay-men were a theme of my life. Those men were figures of major significance in my personal life)
By the way, the reason why I stopped rescuing them was because I realized they weren't worth it, and, mostly, because I understood that we can't rescue anyone. We can't even help anyone who isn't willing to help themselves.
Now I am using my Gerda-like qualities (strength, resourcefulness etc) to facilitate my own growth and I am quite happy about that.
Andersen is great. I don't understand how psychoanalysts aren't all over his fairy tales. To me they seem to shed a direct light on our unconscious conflicts, much more so than Grimm brothers and others who were analyzed a lot.