I'm currently staying with a friend. I have my own room, bathroom ect. One of my friends is deploying at the end of the month, so they are clearing out their own home for mento move into for 9 months. They will be paying the rent so all I have to do is worry about utilities which will afford me the opportunity to save a lot of money to get my own place when they get back from deployment. I'm grateful to have such good friends that look out for me, I'm very appreciative about that. As far as her motives, I'm cutting all communication with her. If she calls, I just give the phone to my kids. I just have to work on my self control, cause when I find something that pisses me off, I tend to voice myself. Just little things that I need to work on personally like self control. She apparently "Found" herself while I was gone hanging out with these friends. My first deployment married to her, I didn't have these problems as she was a stay at home mom. I'm not saying she can't have friends or even hang out with friends, but one on on with another man, married or not, is inappropriate. I would never have done that to her much less bring my kids around that. She is having fun and able to be herself around them, that's what I am assuming. She says she is a free spirited person, a people person and that I am not like that. She stated all the things she likes to do and that I didn't like that or not like that. She said she gave me numerous chances to change and she doesn't feel she could give me another right now. I asked her if we where ever going to live together again, she said "As of right now, No". She didn't just state "No" though. The best thing I can do is act like we are divorced and maybe that will make the recovery a lot better. She just changed into a different person and states she doesn't trust me. I just feel there is more to this but I'll never know. She's to angry and selfish to think about anything rationally, so at this time, I'll just leave her be and move on with my life. I feel if I do that, I'll just prepare myself for the worst. I just hate the fact that I have to start over again. 2 failed marriages cause I deployed and bother my ex's decided to move on when I left. She told me "Now I know what your ex wife felt like". Just a lot of hurtful things. I'm curious to see if she reaches out to me once I stop contact with her. Guess we will find out