Thank you everyone for the replies, they are all helpful.

I guess I have got to try and stop beating myself up over this.

I was thinking about it earlier, if I had a fairly ok childhood I might have ended up being an uncaring snotty bank Manager. (No offence to bank Managers out there.) As it is I do have a lot of compassion, particularly for children, I'm trying desperately to be positive here.

I'll keep plodding away, my path in life hasn't finished yet. Ok, I can only work part-time at the moment (that may change.) and it seems I'm still glued to my T, it's not all bad, I have someone to talk to.

I'm going to keep trying...