Ohh hello! Sorry for the delay... No, I don't work, am disabled. I know, I have diagnosed psychosis but I don't feel any symptoms of it (I had OCD, but that's past now). Now it's just code on which basis I get social welfare money... Yeah, I reap the country lol

Anyway, I was with my psychiatrist some day ago... She said that either I will change or I will live this life indefinitely. Well, I found some answers that may be the explanation of my case. It's supposedly the brain reaction to "there is nothing worth waking up for" state. So, like in polar bears they go to hibernation. Well, in my country there is both strong winter and strong summer. So I find to be more hibernative and less interested in anything during the winter. But there is no exact pattern. Today I woke up just a bit after noon. Sometimes I go in hyperactive mode. It occurs in summer sometimes, but not so often, when I sleep 5 hours or even less even when taking strong medications. There just isn't and can't be any pattern to my sleep. I never go to sleep before 00:00, very rarely. My psych said I should try to wake up every morning before 11AM and don't go to sleep until my time and so on, day after day. It's not just impossible, because I succumb to fatigue at 5-6PM if I break up my sleep earlier. It's like narcolepsy. I could try stimulans as Modafinil, but there is second thing... It's needless... I will never work and I can have pattern from 11PM to 8AM for what? I just don't like mornings. And even if I establish pattern, there may come day I stay late until 2AM and all this I was getting used to goes to waste. So... I told my psych I don't need help (and she said immediately that she cannot help anymore) and I said I will live like this. The problems which I encounter with my sleep pattern is that I will never have girlfriend, it's impossible to maintain any relationship in this way. And they envy me sleeping and money dropping on my debit card. So... I lose here... I am virgin and have already started to praise my virginity more than to cry about it. There's lot of porn out there lol XD Anyway... My wish was to share my story, so I can see I am not only one. eeeyore thanks for being my friend in trouble hehe Anyway I feel quite good despite that I am living in incredible stressful and horrible conditions. That's what my psych didn't expect. Even without taking some meds that she thinks I am taking. I just... don't. And I feel really good. I don't encourage anyone to be their own doctor. I am unique example where I know how I feel under various chemicals and how I react and also I have support from my mother. To end this in good positive way; I was taking Geodon (Ziprasidone) as antipsychotic, I saw no positives from it and removed it by myself, gradually. Just as I went out from hospital. In first check up that came after rejecting meds my psych said I seem to be better than ever before! haha lol! Yeah, I do... Cause problems just make me stronger. Hope you will be inspired to fight against problem, with will first than with meds!

Cheers!