Our family life is such a failure, it's horrible. My head feels like it's shaking up wanting to explode.
All of us are just in our own business. I tried to create a puzzle with my little brother. We just become detached overtime, and then take a break. Although it was mostly fun.
I hate myself, I hate my big brother, I hate my father and my mother doesn't really care.
We all spend time in front of our own screens, big brother in his other business besides the computer, mom in front of the TV all the time.
We're so detached, it's unbelievable! I feel as if there's no hope for me because of this. How will I have a place of my own when I'm influenced from such an existing family?
I really feel like running away from the routine of "get a degree so you can get a job", and perhaps get away from home, and just do whatever I want to do without being so dreaded about securing a future!

EDIT: More detail.
There's no room for crying at home, not even anger.
Only my father's anger and big brother's anger are allowed.
Our mother hates crying.

So we're all emotionally dead. Emotional people hurt us, and it's always our fault. They are better than us.
Oh, not to mention my two previous friends, who broke that emotional shell and damaged me and others for their own sake.
I'm not sure I'll be able to recover.