Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
...often told him when something irritated me (but also overlooked many). For a while, but then I left because I did not find the constant fighting helpful and it made my issues worse, not better...
Then I found someone who was a better natural fit and then those perceptions never entered the interactions. There were certainly things in my first T's behavior and approach that triggered and irritated me in specific ways and I grasped on them after a while...
I guess an expression of sympathy without even knowing much or anything can seem and feel fake, and I imagine it is often fake in Ts behavior...
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That accumulated irritation is what happened with my first T who I saw for 5 years. I seldom mentioned it because therapy was new to me and she (in retrospect) was quite defensive. When I started therapy with my next long term T it was a complete revelation that it could be such an amiable experience! Since his passing last year I have seen 4 different therapists and think I should maybe just stay with one who is solid, contained and skilled... I'm not sure I'm going to find (again) someone that resonates with me quite so well :/
I guess I presented as severely depressed in our first session which might explain the sympathy-on-arrival in the 2nd - but yes, it felt incongruous/inauthentic when I hadn't yet said a thing!