I can relate to this. These are part of my intimacy issues, too.

I can't speak for your partner, and she really should be giving you some communication as to what she wants, because there's a whole spectrum.

But my friend puts it so well in two words, "throw down".

My gut tells me, though, that if you don't have it, you're not going to learn it, and this new partner will be short lived.

But it's worth a try.