There are a number of things that really trigger my anxiety. But there is one that really bothers me and I know I need to work on it because it will happen eventually and there isn’t anything I can do to stop it. I’m talking about the death of my parents.
Neither one of my parents are in good health, my dad more so than my mom. I haven’t worked in a while because we can’t afford a home health aide and my dad needs someone to help him with everyday things like showering, organizing his medicines and making sure he takes them when he is supposed to, he even needs help feeding himself from time to time. My mom is in better health but she has heart trouble and like me suffers with mental illness.


I have nightmares about losing them and it often makes me cry just thinking about it. I’m so afraid of their death and being alone after that it chokes me up. It terrifies me to the point that I even have trouble talking about it with a T. They are all I really have and even they don’t really understand my issues but they have always been there for me even when they didn’t agree with my life choices or lack of life choices.


I don’t know what I would do without them. I don’t know how to even deal with it and they are still alive. I don’t know if I can cope with it once they are gone.