Hey DadFMF,

I hate to tell you this but you are in for a rough time emotionally. This hurts - you can't simply switch off, so part of your self care is to expect it. The best part of your post is in red, above. Everything else you have mentioned is meant to hurt you - the more you communicate with her, the more reasons she will find to validate her actions & decisions. The more you expose yourself to her the more you will be blamed.

Again, I do not know exactly what she's going through but her behaviour is very much 'template' like that of a crisis individual. All of this 'guilting' is to push you away & yet she still has you to serve whatever needs to be met. (Crumbing just enough to give you the impression that there is some sort of connection even if 'warped,' in case her plans & wishes do not materialize in the way she expects) Let her GO

As for her reaching out to you should you stop contact? It is possible This will be so if only to KNOW what is happening in your world to serve her world. Let her go - the more you pursue or hope, the more the situation will worsen.

ONE of you has to be a responsible adult. Do NOT let 'her crazy' make you crazy.