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Originally Posted by Marylin
How about keep the car and let him find his own way back to work.Once you have ended it it all responsibility for him ends so don't give him a lift to work is my advice,make it clear he is on his own and responsible for his own transport,that is a clean break.
Don't be afraid have people with you ready to dive in and help you leave once you've told him.Better still tell him by text and then block him,or arrange for talk about the kids and visitation to happen via a solicitor.Don't make it hard make it easy.I told my sister by text I wouldn't see or speak to her again,I wrote her a letter telling her she is considered a danger to my health and safety.When you put it in those terms you don't normalise it as a straightforward no fault split.I am not surprised you feel scared and nervous.Do it the easy way by text and let the bastard get his own transport to work.
My news is my sister I am cutting out completely as the last two years and I won't be fooled or manipulated again into talking to her like she fooled me over mum's cancer.With mum it is more complicated cos she has supported me lately and I am not going to cut her off completely just distance myself,be careful what I tell her and lessen her influence on me.I will still visit her but less often and phone again less often.I am confident it will all be ok.
Best of luck with cutting your abuser out of your life I myself would do it by text you don't owe him anything,but it is your decision,I wouldn't risk the possible abuse of doing it face to face.I am rooting for you Zedsdead,best wishes.
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How are things with you maralyn? Hoping everything is going good, did you make the move to cut your sister out?
A quick update, my partner who was away at work, came home yesterday for a night. The plan was for him to drive my vehicle up here and then me drive him back down so I wouldn't be left without a vehicle since I have the 3 kids.
My plan was to wait for a few weeks, he owes me 3000 dollars. He had taken it from my savings to pay to get up there. At the time I was desperate for him to get a job and start working away so I agreed.
Hes now trying to talk me into letting him take the vehicle again. I stood my ground even though I felt guilty about sending him 5 hours away with no vehicle. He doesnt even have a license anymore and the car is registered and insured in my name only... but we are joint on the car loan.
My son's were absolutely over the moon to see him, it made me second guess my decision to leave. We had a lovely day, we went food shopping. We cooked a big meal together and I was starting to feel torn.
Then last night our dog peed up his work bag. I heard him shouting at the dog, then I heard him hit him. He started hitting him multiple times over and over. I counted 10 punches so I ran over their crying and hit his back to get him off the dog... he was red in the face and was literally beating our dog.
I sat, crying and cuddling our dog while he was cowering and shaking. It was awful. I guess it was a reminder that his mentality will never change. He will always be a big bully.
He got paid 2200 for his first week at work. He spent all of it. Every penny and had none to give me or the kids and told us to hold on for another week... pretty hard when im out of diapers and food..
Its frustrating that I gave him the last of my money for food while he was away, he could have stretched it and ate cheap for 2 weeks.. but he chose to indulge and then borrow an extra 400 dollars and had to pay it back from this check.
While me and the kids went without and will most likely go without for another week.
I should write this down in my journal to remember that he will never look out for me and the kids or put us first. I seem to forget all the little things when it comes to leaving.