I just feel like I have no control. I really been referring to the Bible and trying to put my anxieties on him. I know actions are louder than words. I feel if I would have never made the mistakes I made before I deployed I wouldn't be in this predicament. I know I don't deserve the way she is treating me, but I do understand the pain she must have felt. I would have been upset if I would have seen that myself. I just need to focus on giving her space to figure things out and to focus on the mistakes I made in the marriage, since that's all the control I have of. I just hate this feeling of loneliness. Even when I have my children, it makes me miss my wife even more. Atleast I am eating and able to sleep now. I just don't want to end our marriage cause I truly love her. I just don't love the way she is handling this situation by hurting me and acting like she doesn't care