I know the normies and Dr.'s call what I do Delusions. But, I thought Delusions were only seeing things or hearing things that aren't there. But, I found something online that was thought provoking:
https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/delusion/
So, if you guys want, we could talk about what 'Delusion' is to us.
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I noticed in my teens, that I can see patterns in colors, numbers, synchronicity of songs on radio and stuff - to read the pattern of life. Sometimes drugs were involved, and they helped me understand everything. Like once, I remember going to a concert and doing mushrooms, and figuring out the blue shirt people and red shirt people taught me all about how blood moves, and how the whole world is connected.
I figured all kinds of things out in my life. Like sometimes when the clouds are communicating with me in cloud ways - it is like a pull, and I 'read' the clouds and they tell me about me, or my place in life, or world events.
Now, I am over 50, and haven't done drugs in 30 years, don't drink or smoke or anything. I still have delusions I didn't know were delusions, even though people think they are I guess.
I thought things were true.
But I think I am coming out of a delusion, where I thought the clouds were telling me I would win the lottery, and I have been preparing for it, and spending a lot of time planning on what I would do with the money, for my family and my husband and me. For donations and repayments.
But I am probably not going to win the lottery. :/
And this article talks about colors, and license plates - that is EXACTLY what I do. I want to cry.
Do the 'normies' (normal people) really not think like that?
I mean, what is real?
I am so sad to have come out of my delusion. I think this one lasted about - over 3 weeks. I do take meds, but how do we change thoughts? Can meds really change thoughts?
I haven't recorded in my symptoms journal since Jan, and I feel like I am in a new dimension. This one doesn't even hardly feel connected to the me from just a bit over 1 day ago. yesterday I just 'woke up' and felt like, "who was I?" the day before.
But I remember stuff. I am not being like split personality, just...... floating from one me to the next me.
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So, what is delusions like for you?