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Old Feb 19, 2017, 02:02 PM
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Trace14 Trace14 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,011
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
Hi, all.

This is a strange one, but I feel I am dealing with PTS from an experience of emotional abuse that had its origins online. I am in the UK, and became close to a woman living in Nashville through an online forum dedicated to the former Beatle George Harrison. Kim and I communicated on a regular basis after the death of her partner Jonathan due to colon cancer in June 2007.


I was grieving after our forum community had lost another member just two months earlier. I was informed in September 2008 that Kim’s health had taken a turn for the worse, as she had developed an eating disorder.


Every time she was hospitalised due to this, I would receive lengthy emails detailing the measures that had to be taken to save her life. These things did not leave me easily...and still don’t. This continued for three years, until I received an email in January 2011, informing me that Kim had passed away, and the circumstances of this...again, sparing no detail.


I remained in contact with her family and her best friend, because of the experience we had shared. In 2013, her mother asked whether she could mail me some photographs. I thought about it, and decided against it, because I was still struggling with anger over the loss of my friend. It would be a shame, I thought, for her to go to that effort and for me to just tear the photos up.


I thought that would be the end of it, but late on Christmas Day 2013, I checked my emails to find eight messages full of pictures and YouTube videos of Kim. Or so I thought. When I clicked through, the names on the video description didn’t match up, so I Googled the photos and found that these were taken from other websites. Following this discovery, I cut contact with the family and blocked their email addresses.


I have so far been unable to find any death notices for Kim, her mother-in-law, or her fiancé, and these two factors combined lead me to believe that this was an elaborate hoax. I am seeking appropriate support, but the memories are still strong.

So sorry this has happened. I lost an acquaintance on a forum as well and it's so hard on this type of communication because there is no closure. But as with other deaths you have to go through the grieving process. Relationships and death are a lot alike on some levels. During a break up it's like death of a loved one. You hurt to you core and your heart is broken. So whether Kim passed away or not you have to grieve the loss, allow yourself time, get support to work through it.
To make up such a hoax is a horrible thing to do. Unfortunately you never really know who you are dealing with in online situations. Bad people can use the internet to hide behind and project that they are someone else other than what they really are. Not saying Kim or her family are bad people, but without actually knowing them in real life is a true disadvantage. Please find some support to help you through this. I can tell that it's a very hard situation for you. Take care of yourself.
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Thanks for this!
LostOnTheTrail