Hey, good on you for choosing to 'save your butt' over choosing to 'save your face'. I like your commitment to yourself. I have always admired that about you. Your commitment to Sonseearae has been a learning experience for me. You have her back. No matter what, you protect her with all that you have.
In that context I can understand why it is so difficult for you to not have realized or known that there were others. All I can say to that is that if it were best for you to have known, then you would have. It isn't a sign of 'failure' or weakness that you didn't know about these two before. I think it is more a sign that you are reader to face more difficult material.