I'm addicted to making myself hypo/manic

I was recently hypo (stress triggered it), but I was irritable, so I felt I was cheated (which is a pretty stupid reason)

Also have personal issues that I want to forget about

I'm not so great with med compliance... Stopping cold turkey, taking larger doses than Rx'd (e.g., extra Lexapro to induce hypo), taking meds I should not take, skipping doses (either intentionally or unintentionally)