I definitely made the right decision. He was blowing up my phone for a couple hours today. Ironically started by saying "I've moved on", attached to a pic of him in bed making out with some random girl. Gross! I didn't need to see that! He is disgusting, and I never found him attractive. I think he's trying to make me jealous but all he's doing is making me hate him more. And he's obviously not moved on, or he would leave me the hell alone!!! Every rude thing he texted me was like a pat on the back --- Good call breaking up with this creep, self! (Yeah I talk to myself, so what?)

Unfortunately where I am now is not "new". Back with mom and dad. Ugh. I spent all my savings getting down to Georgia, now I'm back in the same exact bedroom I was in before I moved. All I have to show for it is crippling debt, stacks of unpaid bills, and a lot of new unpleasant memories! I feel like such a failure...

Anyway, if I hope to move to CA someday I need to start making money and saving money. I have all these great ideas, but severe depression and constant mood swings makes job hunting a little difficult. I guess it's hard not to feel worthless sometimes. I can't even pay my folks rent right now! I'd be homeless if my mother didn't love me so much. I feel so guilty for being a burden on them, especially since my dad was laid off before Christmas. Money's tight, and I'm just another mouth to feed, which they shouldn't be responsible for at my age.

I guess I DO know what I should do. Get a job, find a new psychiatrist, get back on meds that will help me. Problem is, how??? Without health insurance to get meds, I can barely get out of bed most days. Slept until 5pm today, just cause I had nothing better to do and the dream I was having was fun. Very sleuthy, James Bond-like, sneaking around buildings like a spy. Certainly a much better adventure than I'm capable of when I'm awake, and cheaper than going to a movie.