Knowing that flowers produce seeds,
as do the weeds,
that the rainbow is illusion
though beautiful, indeed;
Wouldn't it seem that
life has no why, but to live it?
It has no meaning,
but what you give it?

...I lost my religion long before I wrote this. I wrote it when I was going through cancer treatment. I don't need an afterlife. I've had people say what a shame I think that way, that it must be sad. But I'm free. I don't have the mighty judge looking down on me.
I'm glad you're craving happy calm feelings to distract from troubled thoughts. That seems like a good direction.
It's true that I have not felt loneliness in a long while, but I do remember the feeling. I too found inspiration in writers and artists. I felt companionship with authors when I read their books. The conversational tone of harlan Ellison, his voice, spoke right to me, and it's strange, but he gave me hope at that time. If he could touch me with his bare thoughts and words, could I do the same for others?
I appreciate your voice. Yes it's just on the Internet, but it is real life.