sorry yall, im just bein really triggered lately...
lots of stupid stuff happening... im not supposed to be getting caught up in the whats it is, but just focusing on doing therapy and focusing on trying to talk to the treatment providers like amanda said...

i guess just part of me really needs to label it to find some sort of tranquility in simply knowing whats wrong instead of being all crazy and not knowing whats going on...

i was told by the psychologist at the last assessment to come back in a year for further testing/retesting but i cant afford it because my insurance doesnt cover them for some reason... im supposed to talk to my therapist about testing but the last 2 times i forgot...

it doesnt matter what it is as mch as mattering how to live better... it just seems important to figure out what it is so that i can know what i m dealing with..

im exhausted from all this... and im ashamed... because i cant be just 1 way, i end up being 100s of ways and its really disturbing me... the shame...

i gotta quit drinking and find another way to deal with it...