Would be possible to hold onto more complex memories of events, including environment, atmosphere, conversation topic etc, instead of the other person, their expressions and the interpersonal exchange in a more isolated way? I am just speculating since I don't have this problem, so was trying to think what and how I internalize. I think for me it's these complex impressions, including my own positive feelings in the moment, the larger picture rather than just the interpersonal domain. This way the memories are complex and the different elements can trigger recall of one-another in powerful ways... it never feels isolated or as though it happened outside of me. It's automatic, I never learned it consciously, but I wonder if it could be learned, similarly to a meditative practice or something? Really not sure it makes sense to others or if it could be helpful but I wanted to try to describe it because I really rarely felt loneliness in my life. I did when I was very depressed and cut off from these internal mechanisms and connection from the rest of the world. It is rarely specific to one person for me, including back in my childhood, I think, although there were some outstanding positive influences.

I don't think it's about object constancy per se either, especially for adults. Probably more that some people develop an inner source and soothing mechanism (of course I do believe it's heavily influenced by caretakers in early life), which does not necessarily require interpersonal interaction and reassurance once it's set. I believe that if this is not developed fully or becomes damaged due to mental illness, intense stress etc, then there are all these things of looking for love in all places outside but never quite feeling of finding or sustaining it. If this is true, I imagine it might be much more effective to work on creating this "inner place" or mechanism, the intrapsychic, rather than focusing on the interpersonal too much and hoping it will ever provide that powerful nurture.