It sounded rather more like she didn't want you involved in that part of her life.From what you said in earlier posts.

If I have that wrong I apologize.
My problem has never been with her decision to leave or get on with her life.
My issue is with the way she has done it.
Leaving the marriage is entirely her prerogative, but to expect her husband to wait an indefinite length of time, unable to move on. Whilst she is also unwilling to attend couple counselling, and telling him he should just leave, seems unfair and unjust.

As I have said it before. Marriage is hard, military and forces marriages are bloody hard.
And yes, because of the nature of the work, the person at home is largely responsible for keeping it together during that time. It takes a particularly strong and motivated person to be married to the military, cos the job comes first, and whilst they are away there is little they can do to maintain the relationship. They may not be allowed to call.
So all you have is the mail.
As the partner you have to go the extra mile. Keeping in contact with their family while they are away. Remembering to keep the sparks alive with little fantasies and personal stuff.
Messages and letters from the kids.
Packages from home.
And not just once every.3months.
Weekly letters
Fortnightly packages.
Yeah it's bloody hard work, but it's not forever.
Then they come home, well you know what, they can't just switch off soldier and back to civilian,once there boots hit home turf.
It takes time.
Jet lag.
Not used to the sounds of home.
Not used to talking to normal people.
The list of adjustments goes on.


Everyone has the right to say "I am unhappy I want out."
Then you talk and leave and move on.

You don't say
"I am unhappy and miserable, but I am not leaving, I am just gonna go live a separate life with other people, your not invited. Oh feel free to fk off if you don't like it. I hope you do so I can blame everything on you, and the kids will see what a bad guy u are, according to me. But hell no I'm not asking for a divorce. You might go and be happy somewhere else."

Obviously this is just my take on the situation.

I wonder if this was a woman who's husband had kicked his wife out while she was away , and she came back to find a younger woman fawning all over her husband, whilst he said to his wife...
"Take the kids for the weekend would you, we are going clubbing then she is staying the weekend. I am having a mid life crisis, you'll just have to wait til I am done.
I'm not bothered about our marriage so do whatever!"

Would anyone be sitting here telling the woman to wait it out, and if she is lucky her husband will take her back?

Probably not.

Sorry this went a bit off topic.

I am sorry Dad, once again for your situation. Stay strong, I know it's not much but people care, your kids love you.
I am sure you have some Good friends, lean on them if you can.
Thoughts are with you.