I used to feel like that a lot of my girl pals just hung around with me until somebody better came along. Someone more effusive and uninhibited. So I sort of learned to rely on myself and spoke more to guys than girls. Guys seem to be so much less judgemental but there's the danger they want more on the other hand fact of life.
I think I tried to convince myself that this person never affected me that I had a tougher exterior, but I am a big girl now and I have to move on. But I realise to move on that you sometimes have to face the past.
So now what do I do about these intrusive thoughts , I am away to investigate