I think you're getting closer to seeing her for how she is. You've described her as a "good woman" and a "good mother." That's what you wanted to be true. In actuality, she's probably not a candidate for any prizes in either category. You were lonely. She came along. You told yourself she was a great person. Well, maybe she's not so great. Until becoming an LPN, she probably saw no way of being self-supporting. Now she does.

As far as you having a "right" to the truth. I'm afraid that "right" isn't guaranteed to anyone. You know how The Constitution says you have a right to the "pursuit of happiness." Well - same here - you have a right to the "pursuit" of truth. Good luck with that. You won't be getting it from her. She's not being straight with you, she's not going to be and no law compels her to be. This is why people hire private investigators. If you can afford it, hire one for yourself. That might open your eyes to some things. Probably you can't afford that. You possibly already know what you need to know.

Your wife does not sound like a nice or honest person to me. You may have to just face that. I'm very sorry for you going through this. It's got to be awful. But I think you're going to have to put the truth together by reading between the lines. It's not going to come from her.