I don't think T's apologize for hurting unless what they said or did was an accident or a mistake. Sometimes what others want us to know can hurt but usually T's tell us something because it is "important" for us to know it. I'd rather work with understanding what they said, as hurtful as it feels, than needing that information later and not having it. I think of it as being a little like debriding wounds; sometimes you have to make things hurt so they heal better.