I'm troubled. I'm non compliant with meds... I want to induce a hypo or manic episode just to get that high... I crave that high... I feel like a drug addict. Maybe I am. I have my Adderall from a previous Rx, and it's right there... right there... I'm so tempted to reach for it and take the whole bottle, all 27 of those pills

I was supposed to throw it away, but I can't. I can't do it.

I'm not depressed, but I feel like a lost cause. I don't know what to do with myself. The temptation is there and I don't know how to ask for help.