That is a better way to look at it. In time my comfort with happiness will increase...but happiness is dissappointing. I mean, I have gotten so much of what I wanted and it isn't all that great of shakes. Sigh. Which scares me because I know that the changes that have happened are positive and will improve my life tremendously but if it makes me so uncomfortable I might start sabotaging it so I can be "comfortable" in my misery again.

NO! I am not going to go down that road. I have help in this. I have an appointment with my T today. My hubby is going to be there with me and we will discuss how to not let that happen.

It is all so very bizarre to me though. That getting what you want can be such a difficult thing. I feel like such a whiner baby poopy pants. But then again that is just old programing because anytime I was upset about something I was called a crybaby and now anytime I feel upset about something I think it is something wrong with me. Which of course in this case just helps the whole sabataging process. Am I making any sense?
Carrie